Tuesday, May 17


 I hurt. There is really no other way to begin this post of then... I. Hurt.

Last Monday, Phillip and I woke up to some amazing news. We had our court date. What a wonderful little email to wake up to. It is so funny how one simple little date can turn your world upside down. In a good way of course. I lived last week in a bubble of excitement. I was giddy and excited and full of praise to our Father. It was the kind of feeling a mother gets when she has been trying so hard to get pregnant and finally the day arrives when she takes that test in secret in her bathroom. Over the last couple of weeks I have found my self feeling like that anticipating mother. Sitting on the floor in her bathroom shaking her hands, trying to calm her heart as she awaits those two pink lines revealing to her that she is pregnant. I have been obsessively checking my email, and with every click of the refresh button my heart goes in to a beating frenzy. As the incoming message loads, my world stands still for those 2 micro seconds, because this could be the moment I see the date I will meet my little one. Last Monday, at 6:30 am, that moment occurred. I refreshed my email while I was letting the dog out. I watched as the message began to load. And there it was in the Subject line... Your Court Date. I didn't open it. I couldn't without Phillip. So I burst through the doors of our bedroom at 6:30 am and shook him with excitement flowing through my hands. We opened it together. It was a wonderful moment. A moment I could only celebrate with crying and dancing. I know, I am a little dramatic but this is the moment I have been waiting for, for almost 9 months.

So that day Phillip and I booked our flights and contacted the guest house that we would stay at. It was surreal knowing that I would be holding my little lady in 5 weeks. Last week was amazing. I was finally able to tell everyone I was going to court to get my baby.

I am sure you are wondering why I hurt during all of this excitement. On Saturday, Phillip and I went out with some friends for lunch and to see a local production of Hairspray. It was a great day. During the final act of Hairspray Phillip's email went off. This email delivered some news I was not expecting.

Our court date and case has been postponed by the Ethiopian courts until further noticed. Not just our case but many, many others. I have details but I cannot share them online publicly.  This situation could be bad. Really bad. Bad for us of course because we love and want M home with us. But really bad for all these children in Ethiopia who have forever families they are waiting for. A life they are waiting for. A chance at life. A chance to be who they are meant to be. A chance to be free from the oppression of poverty and disease. I hurt selfishly for us but on a greater level I hurt for Ethiopia and all the children there.

(google image of an Ethiopian Orphan not our little M)

All I can ask of you now is to pray! PRAY with out ceasing for these children and for these cases to be cleared. PRAY that God will show his sovereignty. PRAY that God's hand of justice will be shown. PRAY that God's love for his people will be revealed. PRAY for our hearts and for M and her protection. If you don't know what to pray for, The Spirit does! Cry out to the Father. Cry out for his mercy on these children and families. Cry out for favor and that his will, will be done. PRAY that God in the end will get the GLORY. God is good even when times seem dark.

Isaiah 10:1-4

 1 Woe to those who make unjust laws, 
   to those who issue oppressive decrees, 

2 to deprive the poor of their rights 

   and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, 
making widows their prey 
   and robbing the fatherless. 

3 What will you do on the day of reckoning, 

   when disaster comes from afar? 
To whom will you run for help? 
   Where will you leave your riches? 

4 Nothing will remain but to cringe among the captives 

   or fall among the slain.

   Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away, 
   his hand is still upraised.

(images of Korah Ethiopia)

Isaiah 61:3

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.


  1. I will definitely be praying for your adoption process & little M!

  2. We are hurting and praying with you!! We will pray for M. Please pray for A & M, our girls.

  3. i am so sorry Jenna. i know words are not adequate for the hurt but Jesus said His grace is sufficient for thee. He also said if we put Him first He would give us the desires of our heart praying He will do just that. Just lean on Him.

  4. We are feeling the same anxiety and grief...praying for a swift and positive outcome.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts, love and encouragement.
It is always so appreciated.