Day of Knight: So Not Ready

I was so not ready for this last week. I thought I was but, I wasn't and I'm probably still not. My big boy, my first, started Kindergarten this past Monday. I thought I was going to be so excited to have him gone all day. I know that sounds horrible but if you are a mother of young boys I hope you understand and can relate to some of these emotions. If not then there must be something wrong with me, I must not be normal. I have many many friends were really emotional about their kindergartners going to school. Some even cried. I think I may be the only mother in this world that didn't. I think I may have actually done a small happy dance. Don't get me wrong or misinterpret what I am trying to say. I love and absolutely adore my Parker! He is my sunshine and if it were not for his existence I would not be where I am today. He changed my world for the better and I am so privileged and honored that God has trusted me with the life of such an amazing little guy. Parker is beyond smart. He is clever and witty. He is bold and confident. He LOVES the Lord and has the most tender heart for the underdog. He sees everyone as equals and he finds pleasure and fulfillment in "loving on" people. He has such a zeal for life and knows how to have a great time (all while over analyzing the decisions he makes... he is our cautious one). God has created quite the little man in this guy. He is all of these amazing and wonderful things and some ... He is also a BOY. He is rough and rowdy. Dirty and at times stinky. He is bossy and controlling. He is emotional and oh so tender. He is and I believe all boys are "Pack Creatures". They feed off of each others energy and they are fueled by the level of activity surrounding them. The more activity the higher the energy level and louder the noise that comes from them. The more male testosterone in the room, the more competition and aggression arise in his spirit. When I have one boy home with me, the house is quiet and controlled. When both of them are together it is none stop energy from 7am-9pm with a 1.5 hour recharge during nap. As soon as their little block feet hit the ground in the morning my world becomes fast and furious. I love the energy God gave my children. I love that they can enjoy life and that they are secure in their boyhood. This time in their life is fleeing and I truly hope they live it up to the fullest. I hope that their childhood is filled with many many wonderful memories of terrorizing mommy and each other. While I cherish this season of their very short childhood I also long for mommy time and time in my house where it is clean and calm. This time for me is the time that they are at school. So...this is why I was a little excited for this up coming school year. Parker and Beckham are both in school. Parker is in Kinder from 8-3 everyday and Beckham from 7:45-10:45. However, now that school has started and the first week has come to and end and we are starting week two of our school years I feel a little bit of sadness. My kids will forever be in school until they leave my home. Everyday around noon I begin to miss Parker and his little love notes and drawing he makes me all day. I miss hearing their laughter all day and listening in on all of their imaginary play. My heart hurts at various moments throughout the day when I find a half way completed puzzle that we have been working on a cute little spider drawing he made me. I miss my big guy and I am sad that his preschool years are over. I do look forward to these next 13ish years I have with him. I know that God is going to bless this season and he is going to grow all of over of the next years together. I pray for him while he is away from me. I pray that he will remember the Godly principles I have tried so hard to instill in him over the last 5 yrs and that he will be a light of Christ to his friends. I pray that his love for God will shine and that God will allow Parker to be apart of the amazing things He will do in his generation.

My boys on their

1st Day of School