Wednesday, March 7

Cheats. Convictions. Realities.

Here I am on day 16 of the 40Days of Water blood:water Mission remembering why I am doing this. The first week was easy. It was great. I was pumped and determined. The second week was a little more challenging. I thought often about cheating but never really did (the Mio in my water is still up in the air). This week... Well... it is definitely more of a challenge. I have drank one of these
The yummy Sparkling Pomegranate one to be exact. It was delicious. But that little sting of guilt and shame that came after it was not so delicious. I also had one of these....
A Tall Dirty Chai Latte and it my friends, was REALLY delicious. But again the guilt I had left me hanging and ashamed. I justified each "cheat" with these reasons...

  •  The IZZE drink because was ice cold and sitting in my fridge staring at me and Parker would surely share it with me. I just need one drink to kick the craving. Well I complete deceived myself. You CANNOT just take one drink of this sweet fuzzy treat! I gulp the ENTIRE thing down. Parker had one lil sip.
  •  The dirty little latte because... a) we were driving home from Lubbock LATE and I was soooo tired and b) there were only 3 hours left until my official "Free Day" started. 3 little hours won't hurt right? 

Sunday's are my free days. I get to have my precious coffee that I have quickly realized alters my entire personality and ability to function properly. I am not sure this is OK but, I love it. I wake up each Sunday eager to grind up my fresh beans we brought home from Ethiopia and then I stand in the kitchen with my eyes closed just smelling the fragrant air. Dramatic much?! Yes! but you just don't understand my love affair with coffee on Sunday mornings.

Monday of this week came with a slam of mental negotiations and tempting thoughts about cheating. Just that one day here is an example of the thoughts I woke up with....

Me: I NEED a cup of coffee. Just one cup. I have so much to do and I am so tired. But I am on this mission to give up all drinks 6 days a week until April 7th to raise money for water in Uganda...

Evil Deceiving Me: Just make one pot. Parker is at school so is Beckham and Emme can't speak English yet so, who is here to tattle on you? Only you and Jesus will know what you did. And surely he sees right where I am at today and know how MUCH I NEED this coffee. 

Me: No. I can't do it. It wouldn't be right. I have to have integrity.
*Now I am walking over to my coffee pot. I put my hand on the cabinet door that holds my favorite mug.*

Evil Deceiving Me: Just do it. Only Jesus will know and you. You can do better tomorrow... What is one little cheat?

Needless to say after this short mental argument in my head with myself (I am a crazy person...this is not new) I walked away from my coffee center in my kitchen and filled my acrylic cup, with its matching straw, with my perfectly boring, perfecting delicious, non-caffienated, free clean water

The thoughts and temptations haven't left and they haven't gotten any better. It's not like I had this victorious moment where I conquered a desire and the thoughts of "cheating" fled like a scared puppy. They are stronger and more frustrating. I am not trying to be legalistic about the challenge but I am trying to be true to it. I tend to be the kind of person who will start a project and never really finish it. I am a dreamer and I come up with all of these ideas to do things but never really do them. It is a trait that I least admire about myself and I feel like this is a huge thing for me to finish and finish it all the way. I don't want to quit or half way do it. I want to really do and finish it. It has turned into more then mission to bring water to Uganda. It has turned into a personal goal and mission to finish something I started and to finish it with integrity

This morning I was thinking about all the reasons why I am doing this. My memory quickly took me back to when we were in Ethiopia the very first time and I was watching little children, some with their mothers, wash their clothes in a toxic trench on the side of the road. There was actually a decaying ram head in this water along with trash and feces. My heart dropped and I ached to bring them change. I remembered walking down the street and a little girl, who was probably no older then 6, walked up to me and told me she was thirsty and could she have some of my water. That is all she needed...not money, not clothes (though she was dressed in rags), just water. I was taken back to images such as these below. This is their reality over there. This is their normal. 


Our reality is much different. We take so much for granted here. When was the last time you, or your child, carried 40lbs of water for miles on your head or on your back so that you could cook a meal for your children or wash their clothes? I NEVER have. This is their real life. Not just pictures from google. These are our Brothers and our Sisters. These people are apart of us. They are no different, of no less value. Shouldn't they have what we have? Why should they suffer when we here in America we live life so carelessly and take these things like WATER that is so precious to them for granted? 

I can't even tell you how many times I filled my fridge with these because its convenient when I have perfectly good reusable cups and clean fresh water coming out of my sink. I cannot even count how many almost full bottles I have thrown away. I have THROWN it away!!!! 
Lately I have felt even convicted of grumbling that I have laundry to. I get behind in my laundry because I feel like it is such a bothersome TASK to wash my clothes when I have the privilege even to wash them in these...

Things like water bottles and washing machines aren't bad. They are great. But my perception of my life and my conveniences are often skewed and I need a reminder of how precious my life is here and what a blessing it is to have access to these things. It is not hard to make a difference for our friends in Africa, or Haiti or India or Asai. Its really not hard at all. It is as simple and easy as donating $10, $20, $100 or $1,000 to charities who turn that money into change. There are thousands of them you just have to be open to looking.  

If you want to know more about what I am doing through blood:water visit there website here...



Thanks for sharing your thoughts, love and encouragement.
It is always so appreciated.