Tuesday, November 27

Brave.

Today my big boy was brave. After being in 1st grade with all of his friends since August, today, he went back to kindergarten. As we drove to school this morning I felt tears welling up in m eyes and I got that dreadful lump in my throat. My momma heart hurt for my big boy today. Though he had a smile it was not the same. I adjusted my rear view mirror so I could watch his little face as we drove towards his new beginning. His fresh new start. I stared at his sweet face and watched as he looked out the window. I caught a glimpse of worry and doubt in his eye and began to pray. I prayed that today would be a magical day filled with love, joy, encouragement and peace. I usually drop him off in the carpool line but today I wanted to hold his hand and walk with him to his new class. As we got out of the car I swallowed my tears and put on my most happiest of faces and cheered him on with words of encouragement to reaffirm that God is with him and that this is going to be so GREAT. That it was going to be way better then he could EVER imagine and that Kindergarten was going to be so much fun. He smiled Big and grabbed my hand. As I gripped his clammy, pudgy, double jointed little hand I thanked God for giving us this day. A day to start new with people who really Love him and care about him. People who are praying for him and for people who will encourage him. I love his school and knew in my heart he was going to be in GREAT hands today. As we walked in the building a couple of his buddies from 1st grade ran up to him and threw a million questions at him. He gripped my hand a little tighter and pulled into me. I gently told them that even though Parker is being obedient to what God is telling us to do by going back to kindergarten doesn't mean they cant all be friends any more. They kind of smiled and ran ahead. Entering that classroom and seeing Parker's little face light up at the sight of his new friends and all of the fun things in his new classroom my heart began to settle. I saw and watched the bravery light up bright across his face. He is so brave. He immediately spotted his new teachers vintage tub in her room filled with stuffed animals and pillows and reminded me of the story I had once told him of my most favorite teacher I had as a kid and how she had a tub just like this one. He was thrilled to have that in common with me. Its the simple things that bring comfort to our aching hearts. I am thankful for those sweet simple things. I knelt down, kissed him goodbye and wished him a happy day. On the drive to the littles school I let my tears flow. I don't know why I am so emotional about this. I hurt for and for his disappointment but I am thankful that God has this under control and that he will bless our obedience. He will not forsake Parker in this transition at school. We are fully relying on him. And I find tremendous peace and comfort in that. Today after school Parker was shining bright. He had a GREAT first day. As I drove up to the carpool line his sweet teacher gave me two big thumbs up. My heart was at ease and I was eager to talk to him about his day. He told me he has two girlfriends already. One that he has had since he was two and a new one that is best friends with his old one.  HA! Kindergarten take two is going to be great. And I am excited. Today my big boy has taught me how to be brave and how to face things that are scary with a smile on my face.

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