Sunday, June 22

An Unintended Break + Summer happenings

 I have taken an unintended break from blogging/writing and social media. I didn't plan on taking a break, it just sort of happened. Summer has hit and with that, comes "crazy".  We have slowed down in ways and have sped up in others. We have taken 3 spontaneous weekend trips so far. I love spontaneity.

Our first was to Austin.
We had such a great time exploring this eclectic city eating yummy food, walking around downtown and South Congress street and of course shopping.
 photo IMG_8554_zps7bda4cd2.jpg

Second, we went to Lubbock to visit Phillips grandparents.  And last weekend we went to Dallas and took my youngest sister with us.

 photo IMG_8652_zps9512b1a1.jpg photo IMG_8645_zps61aa350a.jpg

So far our summer has been full of trips, swimming and playdates. I love the chillness of summer. There aren't any pressing schedules or demands and there aren't a whole lot of places that we HAVE to be. Ive been trying my best to be present in the moments that each day brings. I often get teary thinking about how fast these days with little kids are going by. As I laid in bed the other night I nearly broke down into ugly crying thinking about how this is the only summer I will have with two 5 yr olds and an 8 yr old. I know that sounds silly. I love my life with these kids.

Parker asked me just the other day what it is like to be a mom. I told him that its magically frustrating and exhaustingly lovely. I told him that its my most favorite part of my life, getting to be his mom. He grinned from ear to ear.

This summer I have decided to keep going with my "unintended" break from social media and blogging. I want to embrace my days in the pool and picnics with my family.

These are the best days of my life and I don't want to miss them.
 photo IMG_8565_zpsa31b81f9.jpg photo IMG_8421_zps89e660a4.jpg
Tortilla Face

 photo IMG_8627_zps436826b8.jpg
I always find the most hysterical selfies of Emme on my phone.

 photo IMG_8679_zps5cde7cb5.jpg
Unplanned lunch date with my big. He shares my love for health foods and Acai bowls.

Tuesday, May 27

Dance

Emerson loves dance. I love that she loves dance. I always secretly wanted to be a dance mom. I hope she keeps loving it. Right now its her thing. She's so graceful and girly and it shined when she was on stage a couple weekends ago. For weeks Emme kept telling us that she "was going to be on STAGE!!!"

 photo IMG_8400_zpsdb574de3.jpg
Her dream in life right now is to perform. She wants to dance for people and she wants to sing. We took her to see Mary Poppins at our local theatre a couple months ago and ever since, being on stage has been her life goal. Seeing her do something she adores brings so much joy to my heart. Since we started dance back in September, Emme has really come out of her shell. She has needed this to build her confidence. In a way, I think it has healed pieces in her heart and soul. And for that I am thankful.

Her little class spent weeks and weeks preparing for their recital. They worked so hard. It was lovely seeing their hard work pay off when they began their routine to "I see the light" from the movie Tangeled. Each one of them shined and looked so beautiful and delicate.  I was proud to tears for my girl. I loved every minute of it. And so did she. 

 photo IMG_8410_zps1ac31361.jpg photo IMG_8418_zpsc0af74e9.jpg


Monday, May 26

EAT: Vegan Donuts


 photo 25_zpsdb4506a8.jpg

We have a tradition of getting donuts every saturday morning. My kids love donuts and if something comes up that keeps us from getting their beloved saturday morning donuts, you better run and hide. All hell breaks loose around here. Seriously.

I personally, have never really loved donuts. I don't hate them and I don't love them. I would probably love them more if I knew they were healthier then they actually are. So I set out to find a "healthier" alternative to the classic donut shop donut.

We love to eat Vegan in our home so I searched on Pinterest for an easy Vegan Donut recipe. I found this one. My friend Alison kindly photographed the recipe and she was even a brave taste tester. I love that she trusts my weird cooking.

Here is what you need to make these delicious donuts:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 shake of cinnamon
1/2 cup soymilk
1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp vanilla
Egg replacer for 1 egg
4 tbsp vegan margarine

 photo 1-2_zps0c3f34e8.jpg

Steps:

1) Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees
2) Whisk together all the dry ingredients in a dry bowl
3) In a small sauce pan mix together all of the wet ingredients. Mix in the margarin over medium low heat until melted. Don't make this too hot. You should be able to touch it without being burned.
4) Add wet to dry and combine just until mixed. It should be soft and spongy.
5) Using a TBSP measuring spoon scoop out dough and place in the donut pan. Smooth the tops of each donut. The batter should be just below the rim of the pan.
6) Bake for 12 minutes. Allow to cool completely before icing.

 photo 7-2_zps60b352ab.jpg photo 9_zps0c7d12a5.jpg photo 8-3_zpsa2b711bc.jpg photo 10-2_zpsc937bc7b.jpg photo 18_zps3d29ca0b.jpg

For the glaze:
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 tbsp soy milk
a splash of vanilla

Steps:
1) Whisk all of the ingredients together
2) Add food coloring to tint glaze as desired
3) Spoon glaze over donuts of dip half the donut into the glaze.
4) Top with sprinkles, chopped nuts, dried coconut or whatever topping you desire
5) Let the donuts dry on parchment paper until glaze is hardened. 
6) ENJOY! 

 photo 36_zps385a3b4c.jpg photo 38_zpsda6b0983.jpg

I hope you try these. If you do I want to hear what your family thought of them! These little guys were so fun to make and they were so delicious that it has inspired me to create more of my own recipes for yummy treats.

Happy cooking!

Wednesday, May 14

Why Do I Blog

I have asked myself this a lot lately.
Why do I blog? 
Its been hard lately. Hard to manage my time. Hard to get my exact thoughts out of my head. Hard to feel inspired. Hard to be real, raw and vulnerable. Its just been hard. 
Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to just stop and quit. I tend to be the kind of person that quits things when things get too tough or when I feel overwhelmed by something. Its easier to just pull the plug sometimes. 

But then I remember what I have stored up in this place. I have memories, I have a documentation of my thoughts during our adoption of Emerson, I have friendships with women from all over the country, I have a voice and I have a creative outlet that I love. 

I started my blog in 2007 as a way to document my kids and their milestones.  When I go back to 2008 I find photos like this. 
 photo blogcollage_zpsc5acce41.jpg

Its hard sometimes to remember that my boys were once so tiny.

When I go back to 2009 I find photos like this.
 photo collage_zps31f27769.jpg

When I go back to 2010, when our life began to take a pivotal turn, I find posts like these.

End of an Era and Beginning of New Things
Remodeling of a Heart
Open My Eyes
Beautiful Lord
Or how about that time my husband and best friend surprised me for my birthday with a Surprise Party? 

When I back to 2011, my heart stings with the memory of our adoption pains and it swells with emotion when I go back and read how I felt when I first saw her face and how I felt when we traveled to Ethiopia to meet her for the very first time.

Sifted Wheat
Another Day My Heart Stood Still 
Hurting
Like a Dream

In 2012 we documented bringing Emme home, our adventures with Lice, my journey with trying to fast from all beverages except water,  a stirring heart, a mission trip to Ethiopia, rough moments in parenting and so many more moments.

In 2013 I find moments where we met our daughters mom, and when I bravely said yes to speaking at a conference.

Because I blogged I have these memories. I know how I felt when I was potty training, adopting, making things, combing out lice and celebrating people around me. I will always cherish those written words.

So today, I am again asking myself...
Why do I blog?
Well, this above is why I blog and these three kids are the reasons I will continue to blog and write. So that one day they too can look back and read bits of my story. God writes a story through our lives everyday. I believe we are called to live on purpose and live to glorify him in all that we do and for me sometimes that means writing. I want to be able to look back in 10 years and read what was happening in 2009, 2012 and 2019. I want my kids to be able to go back a read what was happening around them, to them and through them. We all have a story to tell and this is where I try to tell ours.

I just needed to remind myself of this today.


Tuesday, May 13

I Faced My Biggest Fear

I have always had a fear of public speaking. As a student I was the kid who would sit as still as I could with my head down, being sure to not make eye contact with the teacher for fear of being called on to read aloud. I remember many times in English class when we would read aloud and everyone had to do it. The teacher would start with the first kid, in the far left row and instruct the student to read 10 or so pages, once the kid in front finished, the student sitting behind him/her would read the next 10 pages and when that kid was finished with their part, the next kid would take over, and then the next. I would sit there sweating profusely, counting off the students and pages frantically trying to find my part in hopes of perfecting it before I actually read it.  All I could think about was my fear, and what if I stumbled on my words (which I often did and still do) what if I had a hard word in my reading and I couldn't pronounce it. What if my friends giggled because I don't read very fast. Oh...it was traumatizing. I hated it.

As an adult I still carry this fear. I freeze and break out in a cold sweat if I am asked to read aloud scripture during bible study or if I am asked to pray out loud. Its so silly but so real. I am still praying that I will overcome this.  I can't simply live the rest of my life fearful of speaking in a large group or reading aloud or even praying aloud. 

Back in April I did something I thought I would never do. I spoke at a conference, the Missional Women's conference in Denver Co. Granted... it was a break out session. But nonetheless, I stood up in front of people I didn't know and I shared my heart. I shared my adoption story and why international missions is important to me and why I think everyone should try to go serve internationally at least once in their life. I even had a powerpoint. I was scared and sweating like crazy. But I did it. And I am so glad that I did. Through that, I felt a bit of freedom in this area.  And I might have felt a little empowered. 

The Missional Womens conference was amazing. It was small and intimate and perfect. It spoke directly to my weary soul. I have felt for awhile that I have lost my purpose. I have lost my zeal for things and my fire has begun to fizzle. This conference encouraged me. It encouraged me to keep going, keep pressing and fight through the hard and dry seasons because people, people are worth it and people are the reason why we live with purpose and why we live intentionally.  We are to love God and love people. This is my motto. 

My friend Jami went with me. I think she felt just as encouraged. I mean she should, she and her husband run a ministry at there house. She completely missional. I am thankful for a friend who cheers me on and encourages me. I can't imagine life with out my cheerleaders. 

If there is something you are afraid of doing I want to encourage you to step out a face that fear head on. When I was asked last fall "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" and I answered "Speak" I never thought I would ACTUALLY do it. Like...ever. But I did and it was great. I actually think I might want to do it again. Maybe.

It makes me wonder... Why in the world does the enemy torment me with this? Why am I so afraid to speak? I guess I will never know unless I face it and conquer it. And if by conquering it I can help make Jesus and all of His glory known, then here we go.  I love these two quotes below. I found them on Pinterest a while back and I think of them often. I hope they encourage you to be courageous, be brave, don't be the safe ship that is too afraid to leave the harbor. Set sail and see where the winds and waves take you. 
 photo PicMonkeyCollage_zps0b8ed517.jpg


Monday, May 12

Mothers Day

 I love Mother's Day. It is such a special holiday to me. I have so many fun Memories of Mothers day from when I was a kid. Every Mothers Day eve when I was a little girl my dad would take my sisters and I to the mall to pick out my mom a special Mother's Day outfit for her to wear to church the next morning. He would also choose a new perfume for her or a new beautiful piece of jewelry. It was fun and magical for me. When we lived in Kermit, I remember we always went to my grandmas house and my mom and aunts made her a lunch while all of us cousins played. I remember how loved and special each mom in my family felt on Mother's Day.  I remember hoping to be a mother someday so that I could too have a magical day.

I have had 8 Mother's Days. This one was the best yet. We didn't do anything big, we went to church, came home and made English Muffins with fried eggs, avocado, cream cheese and tomato, had mimosas and I got to watch 2 episodes of Desperate Housewives on Netflix while Phillip helped me fold laundry. And later that night I made our mothers a special Mother's Day dinner.

Tuscan Pork Tenderloin, Green Beans and Red Potatoes, a Spring Salad with Apples, Cranberries, Candied Walnuts and Gorgonzola Cheese with a Balsamic dressing. Vanilla cake with French Butter Cream Icing and Sea Salt Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies were for dessert.

It was heavenly.

I thought a lot about Mother's Day yesterday and how when I first became a mom I had some crazy expectations in my head about how the day should look and how everyone should act. It seemed so dreamy as a kid. **Confession moment** Many times I have made my husband feel like a failure for not measuring up to what everyone else was doing. As I have grown and matured and as God has taught me a lot about life, family and my blessings, my expectations and desires have changed.

Being a Mother is a beautiful responsibility. It is a hard one and a precious one. Our life is always busy. There is always something happening. Often the sounds of my home consist of Emme twirling and singing "Let It Go", Beckham chanting "step, point, throw" as a baseball goes soaring through my house, and Parker following me around telling me everything he knows about the human brain, the heart, bearded dragons, other reptiles and animals or how he feels about science or how life is unfair. There is always music on and tears and laughter throughout our days. Some days are hard. Some days are magical. Everyday is special.

Yesterday when I was baking the cookies for our dinner I thought of every past expectation I had for this day and I realized, all I want on this day is for this life to keep happening around me with me right in the middle of it all. I want to be with those that I love the most. I want to snuggle and giggle and kiss booboos and wipe noses and cook food for these people. I want them here. I want them close. Though it may be tough some days, I love what I do and I love what I have. My heart stings a bit when I think about how fast these days with my babies are fleeting. I want the memories of baseball, dance, homeschool, guitar lessons, freaky bearded dragons living in my home and fits and victories and snuggles and bedtime songs and stories to be etched in my memory forever.

 photo 7_zps3dbd2ef7.jpg

These kids. They give me life. They give me the courage I need to be brave in this world. They keep me going. They challenge me to be the best version of me. They are my gifts. Being their momma, their one and only momma is the best gift I could ever ask for.

Happy Mothers day mommas. I hope your day was special!


Monday, April 28

April Wrap Up

I am so excited to welcome in May. April was full of so many fun things that demanded so much of our attention. While it was fun, I am so glad it is over. Here is a little recap of April in photos.
1) Our schools big annual fundraiser that I got to decorate
2) Parker got a shorter cast put on
3) I traveled to Denver Co to speak at a conference
4) I joined a gym and nearly died in Spin Class
5) I ran a color run with some of my besties and my sister
6) I had several baking days with my home girl Alison
7) Celebrated Easter with 3 class parties in 1 day.
8) Celebrated Wynnes 30th bday!!
9) Celebrated my niece turning 3 (which I sadly do not have a picture of)

 photo KTR_zpscecb3b0b.jpg photo castoff_zps02b299ef.jpg

 photo IMG_7655_zps28279119.jpg photo IMG_7892_zps28252baa.jpg
 photo IMG_7832_zps1454ce69.jpg photo IMG_7819_zpsd8938973.jpg
 photo IMG_7694_zps3cd94e24.jpg

 photo IMG_7750_zpsf4471b89.jpg
 photo IMG_7934_zpsa1d676b9.jpg

I am looking for to May. We don't have anything big planned so it should be nice and relaxing after having something huge every weekend for the last 8 weekends.  I hope you April was lovely and that your May will be dreamy!


Sunday, April 27

3 Ingredient Cookies

Who doesn't love a little sweet snack at the end of a busy day?
From the day Beckham was born, I have had an intense sweet tooth! Since I have been on a #reshapingitall journey for the last few months, I have been trying to find ways to still enjoy sweet treats without feeling so guilty about what I put in my mouth. 

I have seen various pins on Pinterest of these cookies. I had a few soft bananas yesterday that needed to be used so I thought I would go ahead and give them a shot. They are amazing! I followed THIS recipe from Skinny Taste

 photo IMG_9499_zpse721cc78.jpeg

What you need:

2 ripe medium sized bananas
1 cup of oats (I use Bob's Red Mill)
1/4 cup of chocolate chips (I use vegan chocolate chips)
(The nestle chocolate chips are not vegan...I remembered I had vegan cc's after I took this photo)

First peel your brown speckled bananas and mash them up really good. Toss in your oats and mix well. Then fold in your chocolate chips.
Lightly grease a cookie sheet and use a TBSP to measure your batter per cookie. My mixture made 16 cookies (only 12 fit on this pan). I used the rounded bottom of the TBSP to flatten them out just a little bit. Bake them for 15 minutes on 350.

 photo IMG_8014_zps601e84ec.jpg photo IMG_8015_zpsb27495c6.jpg photo IMG_8016_zpsab6ca6f4.jpg photo IMG_6936_zps61b7a35e.jpeg

Easy peasy and really delicious! Enjoy!


Friday, April 18

Misophonia

So lets talk "disorders" shall we?
I have this thing and it literally turns me into a physcotic person.  Or maybe a demon. 
I cannot stand crunching. 
Like... CANNOT HANDLE IT

When I am near someone and they excessively crunch their food (and slurp...OMG! just don't) something in me snaps and I have an academy award winning freak out session. My poor children. My friend Jessica was over today and she got to witness it. I should have been ashamed but I was not.  She looked at me and said "you know theres a name for that right?" 
NO!!! What!?! This is a REAL thing?!?! 
Let me introduce you to my newest self diagnosed condition...
Misophonia
According to Dr. Wikipedia, misophonia is literally, hatred of sound. It is a neurological disorder in which negative experiences such as anger (check), flight (check), hatred (check), and disgust (CHECK), are triggered by specific sounds. In my case crunching.  See for yourself here

So if you loudly crunch (like a chipmunk) your food with an open mouth while I am sitting next to you I might slap the food from your hand and spaz out like a crazy person, please DO NOT be offended. Its a condition, I can't help it and I need intervention. Pray for me people. Seriously. 

 photo IMG_7771_zps2c177068.jpg

Happy Crunching!


Monday, April 14

8.

On March 28th my big turned 8.  photo IMG_7473_zps7c26677b.jpg
For some reason him turning 8 made me super emotional. I mean every year is hard but this year 8 just sounded so big. We celebrated with day with a special lunch date at Whataburger. His new favorite place to eat.
 photo IMG_7482_zps736e121b.jpg
Later that evening we had a fun party with all of our family and Parkers friends. We hired a video game truck for his party this year. I am pretty sure this is the best party invention ever for little boys. I might have had a blast myself playing the Wii Just Dance game.

 photo IMG_7615_zps27da6977.jpg photo IMG_7609_zps650cdc8a.jpg photo IMG_7520_zpsc1b64389.jpg photo IMG_7518_zps952ad891.jpg photo IMG_7613_zpsb4224f22.jpg photo IMG_7612_zps71415ef1.jpg photo IMG_7611_zps28fc349e.jpg photo IMG_7614_zpsd4c149ce.jpg photo IMG_7610_zps8bd8e604.jpg

I am thankful for this child. He stretches me and challenges me to be better. I have to stay on my toes with this one or he outwits me. He has the uncanny ability to think critically just like his father and he thinks about things deeply. He is too smart for his own good and he has great ambitions. He has more determination to get things done then most adults. He is a goal setter, a creative, a dreamer and a do-er. He will go far in this life. I know he will. What a blessing it is to be his momma. Even if he does give me gray hair and wrinkles on my forehead.

Happy Birthday Parker! I hope this year is even more adventurous and beautiful then the last. You amaze me each day with you hilarious sense of humor and your tender heart for Jesus. Nurture that, it will take you far in life. You have my heart. Forever and always you will be my boy. The boys that made me a mom.


Wednesday, March 26

That one time I ran a Half-Marathon

First I want to say Thank You!
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me (and Phillip) this weekend on Facebook and Instagram. It definitely encouraged me to go through with the race. If I am honest, I had fears. I wanted to bail and pretend that I did it. But I also REALLY wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. So... I did it. And it was perfect. Painful, but perfect.

We decided since the race was on a Sunday, that we would make a fun little family getaway out of it. I mean why not? We were traveling all the way to Dallas to run the race. 
I love to travel. It energizes me. I love going to places with high energy, good food and different cultures. While we were in Dallas this time, we stopped at a park on our way to meet up with some friends. I forgot the name of this park but it was everything I LOVE about the city.

Open grass area, food trucks, live music, playground, bistro tables scattered about, families having picnics, big buildings in the back ground, children running and playing. It was the perfect afternoon. And a perfect pre-race chill day.

 photo IMG_7380_zpsab8afcc9.jpg photo IMG_7421_zpseaf1509a.jpg photo IMG_7420_zpse10d4153.jpg

The next day was race day. I am thankful for my friend who ran the race with me. Jessica, her mom and I had trained hard for the last 3 months for this day.  I learned so much about myself during that run. 13.1 miles if a long way y'all! Especially for someone who just started running in January. I learned that our bodies can do just about anything we tell it to do. I learned that with the right amount of determination and dedication we can achieve big things. When you set goals and work diligently to meet them you reap a reward that you didn't even know was coming when that goal is met.

 photo IMG_7409_zpscd330135.jpg
 photo IMG_7410_zps208b492d.jpg

It felt good to do something for myself. It felt good to test my limits, to see how far I could push myself.  It felt good to cross that finish line knowing I did it. I finished it.

I am not the fastest runner. I am not the best runner. But I am a runner. I ran my race and I put all that I had into it. I finished under the time I wanted to finish it in and though I cried through the last 2 miles and I thought I would never make it, I did and I have never been more proud. (and I actually want to do it again) I ran alongside 10,000 other runners. Both professional and not. Their energy, their excitement, it pushed me and encouraged me. Together we were running. From all different places in life. Some of us moms, dads, grandparents, students and real life athletes. We were all out there running doing the best we could, working towards that finish line.

As I ran through the course I thought how similar this is to life. We are all running a race. We are all working towards goals and finish lines. Through some of the "miles" in our races we coast, feeling great. And then through some of the "miles" in our race we feel tired, worn down, busted and broken, but we have to keep going. You have to keep pressing because what's on the other side of those hard miles is victory!

I once said "I could never be a runner" and I once said "I could never run a half-marathon".  Friends, we have to push through those "I can't's" and "I could never's".  When you press through those, you begin to tap into a whole new world. You being to see your dreams come to life. Whatever your "run" may look like, you can do it. You can press through the junk and find victory. You can succeed at your dreams. Press in and press hard. You can overcome those obstacles because you ARE and overcomer. I will be right here cheering you along!

 photo IMG_7419_zpsf4d55388.jpg

So here's to that one time I ran a half marathon and it changed my life.